Celebrities
Samuel L. Jackson has always been the man, and now he is hilarously the man at football. Watch some more of his funny videos below. |
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| Samuel speaking Physics on Bill Nye Samuel as Juelz, From "Pulp Fiction", Coahing a Hockey Team |
Well, Madonna has done it again. She is shocking the world with her new tour that she kicked off on May 21st in Los Angeles by crucifying herself on a mirror cross. Oh Madonna, you Kabbalah loving crazy ass bitch. Already the Church of England has denounced her latest events. When this tour is completed, it will be the most expensive and famous tour of any female artist beating out Cher's goodbye concerts that lasted three years.
Yes, Snoop Dogg is banned from a whole country. The United Kingdom banned Snoop Dogg after his brawl in London's Heathrow Airport this April. The brawl started when Snoop and his 30 person entourage was denied entry into Bristish Airways' 1st class lounge (Snoop is banned from flying on British Airways too!). Snoop dogg was jailed and 7 officers suffered minor injuries.
The Rolling Stones's guitarist Keith Richards(or 'Keef' as his bandmates call him) recently took a 16 ft. plunge from a coconut tree while vacationing in Fiji's Wakaya Islands. Richards reportedly fell, injuring his head, leading to a concussion and was briefly hospitalized. I really wonder if Richards, who has self-describingly treated his body as a 'chemical testing laboratory' throughout the years, really knows that he fell from a tree - or much less cares (I suspect he doesn't). During a quick phone interview, CR asked the guitarist, 'Mr. Keith Richards, the Stones have announced that they will continue touring, will your injury have any bearing on your guitar playing?," to which he replied, 'Who's Keith Richards?'*In related news, if you didn't already know, Richards will be appearing in the upcoming sequal to Pirates of the Carribean as Jack Sparrow's father.
*I want to apologize to all of our readers for the image of Richards I chose. I especially want to apologize to our younger readers to which the image may scar for life- but don't worry, he's not a monster who lives in your closet. Listen to the Rolling Stones and you'll appreciate him more.
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So apparently Michael Jackson is back in the recording studio and set to release a new album sometime next year, this according to a Bahrain newspaper. As you may know, Michael Jackson has claimed to never return to the US, and live in Bahrain the rest of his life. He says its because of the press and people, but hey, I think we all know that it's probably because of the child pornography laws there. Ugh! How did he turn from that little black angel to this nasty, ugly, pig-nosed, bright-white freak of a man?
This is the biggest news story to hit certifiedrandom in the past year. Kiefer Sutherland just signed a new contract with 20th Century Fox for 3 more years for $40 Million Dollars for playing Jack Bauer on 24. That is the LARGEST contract ever signed by an actor on TV, ever. This is suprising to me because I had figured that 24 would eventually kill Jack Bauer off by this year or next year. 24 has been the best show on TV and alot of that credit should go to Kiefer Sutherland. Also, Kiefer was already a co-executive producer, but is now THE executive producer. Either way, 24 is amazing. This season more people have caught onto the 24 craze. It is the most critically acclaimed show on TV today and averages 14 Million viewers a night. That 14 Million viewers is not even close to how many people actually watch 24 because many people wait until in comes out on DVD rather than watch it week to week (cough cough andrew). I myself am so damn excited about the rest of Season 5 and Seasons 6,7, and 8. 24 is on FOX on Monday Nights at 9pm after Prison Break.
3. Bitch, I'ma kill you.
Nice.
So apparently Prince Harry likes going to strip clubs. He was spotted by the Daily Mirror in the strip club; however, he said no to a lap dance, replying, "No thanks, I have a girlfriend."
He was at the club to celebrate the end of his army officer training course. The Daily Mirror has also caught other celebrities, including Kiefer Sutherland passed out drunk on a London street a few months ago.
Since Seinfeld began back in 1990, it has been one of the most beloved shows on TV. Ever since it taped its last show in 1998, we've all waited to see what the chararcters will do next. Kramer had one show canceled, George had two, and Elaine had one. Now, its all eyes on Elaine, as she kicked off her new show on CBS less than a month ago called "The Adventures of New and Old Christine." The show is actually pretty funny and written well, however it is the exact oppostie kind of role Julia Louis Dreyfus played on Seinfeld. She plays a mother named Christine who is divorced from her husband who happens to have a new girlfriend named Christine. Either way, the show is still pretty funny, although no show will ever be as FUNNY as Seinfeld. Just looking at the above picture of the entire Seinfeld cast puts a tear to my eye. I miss Seinfeld.
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