Humor

The Post Show: MySpace Consultant

 
Post Show Myspace
If you want to make it in the MySpace world, you need a professional Myspace Image consultant.  Bradley Cummings is your man for the Job, he wil help boost up your pageviews and friends, plus your online personality, with "real," but fake information.
Click Here to watch The Post Show: Our Space
 

Diet Trends: The Inmate Escape Diet

 

In what has been called one more good reason to loose weight, convict Robert Cole lost over 30 pounds in order to escape prison.  While details of the event are still fuzzy it appears that Cole lost the 30 pounds to slip through a hole he chiseled in a brick wall in the prison hospital.  He then scaled a razor wire fence walked along the guard wall and jumped to freedom in a maximum security prison in Sydney Australia.  Also details of his diet are yet to be released but hopefully Certified Random will be succesfully able to close the deal on the rights to his diet book which could be released alongside Caged Wisdom.
Source
 

Meanest Cities to the Homeless Announced

 
Saddam HomelessThe Top 20 meanest cities to the homeless were announced by the National Coalition for the Homless recently.  Believe it or not, Sarasota, FL was annouced as the "meanest" city in the country.  This is because Sarasota passed an ordinace so that it is illegal for the homeless to sleep on benches without permission.  This is for the "safety" of the homeless.  Here are the other top 20 cities on the list.

Sarasota, FL.  Lawence, KS.  Little Rock, AR.  Atlanta, GA.  Las Vegas, NV.  Dallas, TX.  Houston, TX.  San Juan, PR.  Santa Monica, CA.  Flagstaff, AZ.  San Francisco, CA.  Chicago, IL.  San Antonio, TX.  New York City, NY.  Austin, TX.  Achorage, AK.  Phoenix, AZ.  Los Angeles, CA.  St. Louis, MO.  Pittsburg, MO.

So appartently Texas is really mean to homeless people.  Also here's a sidenote; a little tidbit of information:  two certified random writers are from these cities.  Mean bastards.

 

The Brunch Bus - The Double Feature

 

EPISODE 4 PART 1- SHEILA
"Oh, motherf*#k!"

EPISODE 4 PART 2- ROBERT
"Look at those hub caps!"


Just remember, it's not breakfast, it's not lunch...it's fucking BRUNCH!
You Need Quicktime the view these funny videos.
BrunchBus.com
 

Random Link Thursday

 

Brooke Burke and Her New MAN

 

Yeah, Brooke Burke found herself a new Man, and his royalty, Burger King
Banklocater for more Pictures of the Couple
 

Random Link Thursday

 
Ali G: In the Countryside - Ali G goes to a farm to find out what happens there, Classic
Ali G: Bruno - the gay fashion reporter goes to Alabama for a football Game
Ali G: Borat - explains how good Katastan is.
Shop: Ninja Shoes
Michael Jackson in "Michael Jackson's Quest III" he moonwalks his way through every popular Retro Classic Video Game
Article: Florida's Ferris Bueller stuck in Kuwait
Saved by the Bell: Slater's Dance - Outdated and metrosexual
Saved by the Bell: Jessie Spano on Drugs
Retro SNL(MUSTSEE): Eddie Murphy as a White Men - Got to keep ur butt really tight.
Magic: Criss Angel Walks Through Glass
Stand-Up: Dave Chappelle - Talkin about Sesame Street
MUSTSEE: Family Guy - Bill Lamburgh, Boss from Office Space, tells Louis off
Site: Why Myspace is Gay - Majority of the same info goes to Facebook, funny analysis on user's Pics
Moving Gif: Footage of Big Foot - Science hasn't yet been able to prove the video as fake
Gallery:  Jello City - San Franciso made out of Jello, very colorful
Site: WhileURSleeping.com - about taking pictures of people while they are sleeping and designing dreams for them...
Article: Larry David  (co-created of Seinfield) refuses to go to see BrokeBack Mountain - read his article it pretty funny
Larry David trys to buy weed - Curb Your Enthusiasm
SNL: Spoof of The Black Eyed Peas
Banned Commercial (MUSTSEE): Bang! Bang!
MUSTSEE: Tom Green - Undercutters Pizza - Undercut the competition
MUSTSEE if U a like Hip Hop: Biggie and Jay-Z onstage rapping together at a Birthday Party
MTV's 22 Greatest MC's - Jay Z Segment
Commercial: Dress For the Moment - Remember your 3d Glasses
TRAILER REDUX:
       A post-production house organized a competition where assistant editors ‘re-cut’ trailers for famous movies to try and make them seem like different movies.
    Winner(MUSTSEE): The Shining - (heart warming romantic comedy)
    West Side Story - (Zombie invasion)
    Titanic (Scary movie)
    Eternal Darkness - Redux of Etrenal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
    Psycho - (American Love Story)
 

The Truth about College: The Drunk Dial

 
Whether you're drunk text messaging a "friend" in the middle of the night, at home waiting to send that late night IM, calling the guy you met last weekend for a little 3 am rendezvous or just motioning to your boy to "holla" at the cutie in the pink top for you as you finish your eight round of shots - you are committing what is widely regarded as the "Drunk Dial". Since the invention of the phone, almost instantaneous connection can be made between people. And there is no better reason for this almost instantaneous connection than sex.
 For guys, the drunk dial is about one thing and one thing only, SEX. No guy has ever drunk dialed another guy, only chicks. It's that last gasp for some ass before chalking it up to unsuccessful night of inebriated stares, dance-floor fondling, and wasted financial aid money. As horny college students of the male persuasion, drunken dialing is the equivalent of throwing up a Hail Mary pass, hurling a last second half court shot, and impressively filling out a Trojan magnum, all in one prayer-filled attempt.
For girls, it's a little different. Drunken dialing isn't always about early morning anal play or reverse cowgirl positions for ladies. Just most of the time it is about sex. There are those rare occasions where girls drunk dial to say their random drunk girl news like (obviously) how drunk they are or to slur their favorite '80s Night bar song. If I hear "Take me home tonight, Oh oh oh oh oh!!! I want to leave by the speed of light!!!", I'm going to club you over the head and take you home by the speed of my friend's Suzuki. I'm just kidding. My friend doesn't drive a Suzuki. Most times, however, girls drunk dial for sex. It's the only natural thing for a girl, who has made out with 5 other girls to cheers of the left corner of the bar, to do.
Now I'm not disagreeing with those who drunk dial. On the contrary, I implore others to do it and reap its many benefits. It's a marvelous tactic that has served many an undergrad, myself included, quite well. So the next time you're "totally shitfaced" off those three shots of jager (ladies?), pick up your cell phone and reach out and touch someone. If you're lucky, you just might get touched in return.
 

Dane Cook's SNL Sketches

 
Dane Cook recently hosted Saturday Night Live this December 3rd.  This was Dane Cook ultimate goal since he was young, to host SNL.  And with the clips I say he did a great job.  From skits about him wearing a 100% wool sweater to even the Monologue, they were hilarious.  I still can't stop laughing about the wool sweater.
Videos on SNL:
Dane Cook's monologue
Coma for a Day
$800 Sweater
The Long Ride Home: The Jay Feely Story
Other:
Dane Cook on Conan a day before SNL - Talks about his prono prank

Tv Squad: Summary of 12/03/05 SNL
 

Architecture Student Made Parodies

 

Some Architecture students from Harvard made a few short parodies of some MTV shows that they put up on Google Video.  We at CertifiedRANDOM understand how demanding design class can be, and how bored you can become to the point everyone in the studio is taking pictures of nothing and saying the most outlandish stuff because of their sleep deprived minds and caffeine filled bodies (80% of CertifiedRANDOM's writers are Architecture  Majors).  So check out their videos: Pimp My Model and REMtv News - hosted by Rem Koolhaas.

Related: Byran Boyer 's Flicker Site: Creator of the parodies, site includes pictures of models and sketches of his work