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'Superman Returns' opened up in theatres this week soaring into the box offices as the seventh most money making film to open with a Wednesday debut- earning enough to make Lex Luthor green with envy. I saw the film and must say I was impressed with the visual effects. The acting, more specifically character portrayal, wasn't so great in my opinion. Kevin Spacey fulfilled his role as Lex Luthor, Brandon Roth as Superman wasn't bad, but Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane..ewww man! First, I must say this before any reader gets the wrong idea of me- I love women and would never hurt one or hit one, or even shake one really hard...unless of course, it's Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane. Also, I've always thought calling a woman a 'bitch' was pretty slanderous and try to refrain from ever spewing such venomous poison (even when it is well deserved)- but in the case of Kate Bosworth, I'll make the exception. Her portrayal of Lois Lane brought down the whole movie- it made Superman's attempts to save her (basically the whole driving force of the Superman plots) futile. I just sat there thinking 'Man, Superman, you are such a weiner! Why would you go through all that trouble for that piratewhore?' I would actually pay an extra $8 to see the movie again if Brian Singer put in an alternative ending where Dave Chapelle as Rick James rubbed baby powder on his hand and said 'I'M RICK JAMES, BITCH!', and slapped Lois Lane across the face. Then he'd walk up to Superman, slap him, say the same thing, and walk away with Toby McGuire and Kevin Spacey.

Moving on, the real bread and butter of why I wrote this article was to discuss the controversy of a line in this film. This line is said by Lois Lane's boss when he asks if 'Superman still stands for truth, justice, and all that stuff?' All that stuff!? For those who are not familiar of what was replaced by all that stuff, it is the American way. Why would they omit the American way and replace it with all that stuff? Call me crazy, but does anyone think this adds fuel to the fire of a liberal Hollywood and liberal media. We need writers who aren't left-handed, but are ambidextrous. Call me paranoid, but subtle messages like this are mind control- albeit this is arguable in this case and in this case, it probably doesn't amount to much- but if we have these writers who wield tremendous power with their stories on future generations and the symbolism of such a patriotic figure is altered, what's next? I don't even like Superman that much- I think Spiderman is way cooler. Writers of the movie have said that they did this to market themselves to international audiences, and I take it they did this also because of our opinion in the world arena- but Superman is such a symbol for good, why can't we present this openly, is it because some Hollywood writers feel the country is not a symbol for good? Was this editing a critique on the opinion of some who disagree with the war on terror? Whom do we have to impress to change what Superman actually stands for? The French moviegoers! French people only watch sad films where clowns cry. German moviergoers? German moviegoers only watch films about sausages and Run Lola Run! Why do we have to show restraint while our enemies can slander and spit on us all they want? I hope Kim Jung Il, Castro, that punkass Chavez, and Hussein can all go to the movies together and watch Superman. Then after the movie, when they're hanging out at Steak n' Shake, Kim Jung Il says to Hussein, 'That was such a great movie, Saddam!' Saddam says 'I know, Superman is so way cooool!' Then that punkass Chavez says 'Have you seen pictures of baby Shiloh, she has Angelina's lips and Brad's smile and........Then Dave Chappelle (as Rick James, of course) walks up to them and says ' Superman stands for truth, justice, and the American way! I'M RICK JAMES, BITCH!' Then he proceeds to slap each despot across his face.